It's a Jungle Out There

"The cockroach and the bird were both here long before we were. Both could get along very well without us, although it is perhaps significant that of the two the cockroach would miss us more." -- Joseph Wood Krutch, (1893 - 1970) US naturalist, conservationist, writer

We now have a yard; land that we own outright. It feels different. It feels good. It's a bloody jungle out there. But before we get to that, we'd like to introduce you to Buddica, our new family member.

Colette was on the beach walking our other two dogs, Midas and Octavius. This pup came running over. Octavius can be an old grump at times, particularly as this beach used to 'belong' to him. Colette asked some tourists to hold the pup until she passed but then had second thoughts. Colette is one that believes in love at first sight with dogs and it seems this is what happened here.

Buddica a brave warrior princess

Not long before we left the UK, Squidge, the doggy love of Colette's life died of a rare brain disease. He was a handsome chap. She has missed him greatly and it looks like this new pup may fill the void.

Squidge - Gone but never forgotten

Buddica had clearly been neglected and was infested with literally hundreds of ticks. We've never seen anything like it. Honestly, it was like a horror movie. She laid down on the tile floor and they started evacuating her body. Hundreds of them. Before we knew it they were climbing the walls, small black specks all over the walls and rapidly moving upwards. You couldn't walk without hearing a noise like bubble wrap as they popped under your feet, leaving blood stains behind.

We were frantic, killing them individually, spraying them, sweeping them into piles for mass slaughter. As Midas has already had one bout of Tick Fever here (also known as Erlichosis), we were particularly concerned. For those of you who have pets and are thinking of bringing them here, Tick Fever is something you need to educate yourself about. We know of several dogs that have been brought from abroad and have succumbed to this disease because their owner didn't catch the symptoms early enough. You can get some basic info here http://www.familyvet.com/ehrlic.htm

Anyway, the horror continued as we discovered that her tick infestation was heaviest in her ears. Maya bravely tackled the ear ticks but there were so many that it was soul destroying, so we decided to take the pup to the local grooming parlour, Pampered Paws. This is run by a lovely woman, Kathy, who has become a friend. We'd also like to thank Sharon (aka Shazza) for lending us her golf cart for emergency puppy issues. They cleaned her up beautifully and she came home with no ticks, but covered in scabs left behind. She perked up amazingly.

Of course we made sure that the grooming parlour/petshop and the local vet/humane society had a picture of her in case anyone had lost her, but so far - no one has claimed her. She's now had her first set of vaccinations and will go in to be 'fixed' as they say around here in a week or so more. More pictures will come in future blogs.

You can never expect the expected in Belize. At least that is what we've discovered. Buddica slept through her second night here and I woke up to find a very happy, proud puppy next to the carcass of a beautiful green iguana that had been living in our trees. Here was the most recent picture of him.

RIP Mr Iguana

Colette was very sad but wanted to dispose of the carcass before Maya woke up. She got a shovel, put it out of the gate and then broke the news to Maya. We were all sad, but Maya went to get on with gardening, arriving back into the house 10 minutes later explaining how she had found the iguana's stomach. Colette had thought the puppy must have eaten the stomach so didn't look for it when she disposed of the rest of the carcass, but poor Maya found it.

Then about two hours later, Colette hears Maya scream from the garden 'GET THE DOGS INSIDE'. Not knowing what was going on, Colette gathered the dogs inside and went back out. Maya says 'There is a huge snake out here'. Colette thinks 'Maya is scared of snakes and exaggerating'. So she wanders down in her bare feet and dressing gown to find this:

Oh dear, this snake is rather large

No exaggeration. This was a big snake. Colette has worked with invertebrates in the past and has handled snakes and lizards and wasn't very frightened. So she pulled the planks off the snake and he suddenly looked even bigger.

What on earth are we going to do with this?

The thick piece of wood next to him is a 4x4 to give you some idea of his thickness. Anyway, Colette has a look at the snake closely and it doesn't look too well. Probably in slough - about to lose its skin. During this period, snakes are vulnerable and blind during part of the process.

Closed eyes and dry skin

We were pretty sure that he wouldn't survive our dogs and anyway we were worried that the area is getting pretty built up. Many Belizeans are understandably scared of snakes. Given that Belize is the home to one of the most deadly snakes, called the Fer de Lance, locally known as the Tommygoff it is hardly surprising. Apparently there are none on Ambergris Caye, but the fear runs deep amongst Belizeans and rather than wait to discover whether a snake is deadly or not, they tend to just 'chop' them all. Machetes being the weapon of choice. We also have a group of horrible little kids (these being exceptions as most children we know in Belize are wonderful) who chase down wildlife in the neighbourhood, torment and kill it. Bored little boy behaviour. So, we thought it was better for the snake if we rescued and relocated him. We're not sure what the snake thought, but by this time, he was getting seriously pissed off and started hissing.

It is amazing how hissing has such a strong primeval effect. It makes your hair stand on end and gets your adrenalin going. Maya is genuinely scared of snakes, so this was going to be very interesting. The first thing Colette did was get a big dog kennel.

Welcome to your temporary home

Then, in true Crocodile Dundee style, she wrangled the snake with a long piece of wood, head first into the crate.

Arrghh he's coming back out again

He was a big snake, he was an angry snake and it was no easy task. Finally Colette managed to get the rest of his body in. Colette did all of this in her dressing gown.
Gratuitous picture showing Colette's lovely Gap dressing gown (thanks to Smiley and Kate for the gift)

We then carried the crate into the office. Maya was nearly having a heart attack. So, Mr. Snake went to live in our office for the next few days for observation and Colette got some advice from people in the know.

You would think that was simply enough excitement for one day. So did we. But at about 9 at night we heard the puppy yelling in the garden as if she had been hurt. She was also barking like crazy. So out we go, at this time of night in our underwear and bare feet. Out into the dark.

Puppy has cornered one of our Giant Blue Land Crabs. These buggers are big and very aggressive. They are also rather comical. When we moved onto this land, we were aware that there were 20 - 30 large crabs living here. They dig big, deep burrows, which are a nuisance. Otherwise, they aren't much trouble. We had been talking to people and gathering advice for dealing with them. Our Belizean friends told us that they were good to eat. Some told us to wait up at night and shoot them with a pellet gun. Others recommended digging them out. And yet other advice said to fill their holes with water forcing them out. Maya had taken on the rather passive aggressive method of filling their holes every day to make their lives difficult.

So now it is night time, we have three over excited dogs who all want to earn their bravery awards by taking on a crab. Eventually we decide to use a shovel. So between Maya and Colette screaming at the dogs to back off, giggling hysterically, shrieking ocassionally it must have been quite a sight to behold. Colette finally got the crab onto the shovel and then flung him over the fence. Upon doing so, both Colette and Maya covered their heads as Colette has notorious bad aim and we both expected the crab to land on us. Fortunately the technique worked. It was only afterwards that we wondered if we had thrown the crab into our neighbour's truck. Whoops.

Actually, they are interesting creatures and here is a good story about them http://www.nieworld.com/special/endangered/story07.htm. They are eaten commonly here but unfortunately we are two scared of them to try to get one into the pot.

Well over the past week, with the new pup developing her killer crab hunting skills, we have evicted another four crabs. Last night we scored two. One of them was the biggest crab in the universe. We are sure of it. He was so big that the shovel method wouldn't work as he was too big to sit in the scoop. So Colette had to get him to grab the shovel and then quickly fling him into the mop bucket. Unfortunately, the mop bucket was not big enough to allow us to get hold of the handle without being attacked by the vicious land crab - who we had been alerted to by the puppy's pained shrieks as she bravely fought him. So we had to use the shovel to get the bucket out of the gate. Here is a picture of a crab caught earlier this week in the daytime, to give you an idea.

The poor puppy now looks like we enter her in dog fights. She's got little pincer wounds all over her face. She seems ever so proud of her new vocation though and we have committed to going down whenever we hear her bark as she is very reliable. Once we got rid of the gigantic monsterous crab, the dogs discovered a gigantic monsterous toad. Toads can be toxic here and dogs can die if they eat them. So we had to escort Mr. Toad off the premises. Trying the shovel method proved pointless as the toad just jumped off, clearly higher on the evolutionary scale than a land crab. So we employed gentle toad herding methods that seemed to work. For those of you reading this and worrying, we won't mention that we haven't evicted our resident tarantula as he seems to be able to stay so still when the dogs are around that he is virtually invisible. If they discover him and start bothering him, he'll have to go too.

In between all of this, we monitored the snake, who seemed to improve although he never shed his skin. We decided that since he seemed stronger, we would relocate him. Our lovely neighbour, Wade, used his truck to assist in the project. Yes, this is the same truck we thought we had landed our crab in earlier in the week. Wade confirmed that no crab had been discovered. So we're safe. Although we're sure we hit our other neighbour's house with one last night as it was flung over the fence.

So, we covered the cage, loaded it, hissing loudly into the truck and then drove to a heavily wooded area near the dump. We thought that a dump would be a place teeming with rats and that this would make our serpenty guest very happy.

Colette says soothing words to Mr. Snake

We tipped him out of the box and then stood and watched as he slithered into the woods looking back and hissing at us for effect. Just for those who don't know, Boas can and do bite when threatened. They are not venomous, but can cause a nasty bite with fangs at the back of their mouth, designed for holding prey in place.

Bye bye Mr. Snake. Have a great life.

So, special thanks to Mother Nature for keeping us busy and entertained.

Belize, our new home.

"A little Madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King."

- Emily Dickinson

Our house is finished, except for some finishing and repairs. We've moved in and it is glorious. We still might be a bit mad many seem to think. Two and a half years ago we had two properties and successful careers in London.

Now we have one house in Belize. Right now, we are spending all of our time and energy on the house, meanwhile trying not to spend too much money. It is amazing how quickly a project like this can swallow cash.

We have some pictures of the inside, without our furniture, before we moved in. I know that many of you have asked us to put up pics of the inside with furniture, but blogging is an interesting thing in terms of your home and privacy, so all you'll get here are pics before we moved in. If you want to see it now, you'll have to drop in, or email and ask nicely for some private pics.

Entrance and Kitchen

Doors to back porch and dining area

Bedroom

Shower tiling

Super cool Jetsons style lighting

We have to be honest and warn everyone that we don't have a guest room. The house has one bedroom and a bathroom upstairs. We have an office and bathroom downstairs, but we didn't finish work on the bathroom so that we could spend money elsewhere in the house. We do not have a sofa bed.

So, if you want to come and visit and stay with us you'll have to bring an air bed or a tent. Camping on the roof might be quite fun. In fact, our roof can be seen from this aerial picture, taken by Colette when she went to Belize City to collect our shipment from England. All of our worldly possessions.

A free Belikin to the first one to spot our roof

Colette had to go over to meet our trusty customs broker George. He really is wonderful and did a brilliant job. Message us if you need a good customs broker in Belize. Once we have cleared customs, our items are shipped by boat to San Pedro. Our shipment arrived in two big crates and they had to send a little Bobcat forklift truck to help get them off the truck. We had been moving house and emptying boxes all day. When this arrived at 5:30pm when we were just about to relax, we nearly died. But we piled in and emptied the crates by 10:00pm.

All our worldly goods

May is Mothers' Day time. In San Pedro, the Mothers are treated like queens for a day with a huge Mother's Day Extravaganza held in Central Park. Food, drinks and entertainment were laid on by San Pedro Town Council for nearly 800 mothers. Colette was honoured to have been asked to assist. She worked as a server along with other volunteers. She managed to drag along her friend's son, Junior as he was visiting San Pedro from his home in Ladyville on the mainland. Most of the volunteers were highschool kids from San Pedro High and Colette was supposed to organise the serving of food and drinks to a table seating 70 women. Colette had Junior and two lovely helpers from the Highschool. Colette has not served a table for over 20 years so she spent a lot of time apologising and offering to get napkins for various ladies.

Delightful Miss San Pedro welcomes Mothers

'I love you Mom' Gifts for all Mothers

Preparing for a whole lot of Mothers

On the other hand, the kids from the High School were on the ball. Junior and the two girls (yes Colette's team of servers consisted of four) were amazing and it was apparent that all of the Mothers had a wonderful evening. When the Mothers arrived they were greeted by Miss San Pedro (we apologise for the deterioration of photo quality but Colette's little digital has nearly died) and given a gift. They were then seated by a local dignitary. Meanwhile, the servers went crazy taking orders and bringing drinks. After over 750 were seated, with extra tables and chairs having to be found because so many attended, a turkey dinner was served. Then the tables had to be cleared in preparation for dessert. Meanwhile, there were various prizes and competitions involving Mothers jumping up and running around a lot. Hilarious, absolute chaos but organised and everything went smoothly.

The High School Boys give the Mothers a treat

But just for a moment, think about organising a meal for over 750 women, with unlimited alcohol available to them, using only teenage volunteers and it all going off without a hitch. Unbelievable. We do love our little island and what it can accomplish.

How many Mothers?

On that note, we've been observing our local elementary school develop. They are called Ambergris Caye Elementary School and we think they are great. We know a lot of the kids and their parents. The school is adorable, run incredibly well, the kids are very well behaved and happy and they have just installed this fantastic adventure playground for the kids.

School is not available for free to children here. Many churches run schools, which subsidise the costs heavily to make an education available to most. There are also a number of other private schools on the island, Ambergris Caye Elementary being one of them. Just because it is private does not mean the children have wealthy parents. Many parents work two and three jobs to keep their kids in school and have high aspirations for their children. Things are changing and the quality of the schools are improving. Also, many children are supported by wealthier members of the community, local charities and the schools themselves through scholarship programmes.

A playground worth screaming about and do they scream

Now that we have our precious belongings, we've been able to go through our old photo albums. We thought you'd enjoy seeing these old pictures of us. Can you guess which one is Maya and which one is Colette?

A few other things before we sign off. We'd like to thank our friends for their amazing patience with us during this house building project. We have been no - shows at so many parties that we're sure we are now on the Z list. We love our friends here on San Pedro and abroad and really appreciate your support.

We'd like to thank the lovely Capt Jeff yet again for allowing us to fill our freezer with fish. He is a great fisherman, friend and we love him.

Finally, we'd like to thank The Tudors for being the sexiest, most beautiful and dramatic show on TV for a long time. If you haven't watched it - do!

The tawdry and terrific Tudors

February Retox and March Madness

Home is Where the Heart is

This amazing series from the Lunar Eclipse on the 20th of Feb 2008 was taken by Maya

Life has been a whirlwind recently. Colette had to take off to London for two weeks in February and that threw us all out of sorts. Both of us were dreading it. Colette, because traveling always makes her ill and the weather was freezing in the UK and Maya because she was going to have to deal with the house project all on her own.

We both had our adventures in those two weeks. Maya of course, fished. Big thanks to the wonderful men in our life, Bill and Capt Jeff, for making the these fishing days possible. The deep sea fish with Dilzon was an absolute adventure with swells of six - ten feet. Maya says the boat literally kept going straight up at a 90 degree angle and then WHAM, it would hit the water again. Colette was pleased she wasn't around to experience this particular day out.

This is Maya holding Bill's Wahoo (does that sound rude?)

This is Maya holding the Jack that she caught.

This is what Jack steaks look like.

Meanwhile Colette arrived in London and stayed with her great friends Anna, Pete and Vanessa. It was very hectic and full of entertaining social events. Just after Colette arrived, Anna had a brilliant success with her PR campaign for Litter Kwitter. Oh yes, we must share with you about this interesting product. It assists you in teaching your pussy to poop on the pot. If you really want to see this amazing device, check out http://www.litterkwitter.com/en/index.php . She actually somehow got Ricky Gervais to plug it on the Richard and Judy Show. Hilarious.

Anna watches a cat using the Litter Kwitter on TV

Within two days, Anna had roped Colette into appearing on an daytime TV show - for those Brits reading this it was the Alan Titchmarsh Show. Colette was helping her to plug another amazing animal invention called the Paw Plunger, http://www.pawplunger.co.uk/ . The world is full of these amazing things that you just can' t live without.

Some of Colette's mates organised a surprise drink in town. That was the beginning of the end for her liver. Almost every day, friends organised drinks. Tons of them. Mostly red wine. Colette sends her love and thanks to all of her wonderful friends for helping to keep her drunk throughout her stay. Petey, Anna, Vanessa, Smiley, Sam, Carolyn & Caroline, Roger (the lingerie idea is a winner), Chamois, Ingrid, Hilary and everyone else who will probably now be offended that they weren't mentioned. You guys are true British heroes. Well except for Ingrid, who is a Spanish hero.

Colette reports that London is still cold, grey and dirty although traffic seems to have definitely improved. The weirdest thing was that no one spoke English. A huge influx of Eastern Europeans and people from other countries has made London feel like a foreign country. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be quite difficult when you asking for directions to the Post Office and no one can help you.

While Colette was away, the house continued under the careful supervision of Maya. It will be weeks before we move in. We can finally unpack. Both of us have come a long way. We can't wait.

Stucco day at Mermaid Manor

The living room looking towards the kitchen.

The bedroom.
The screened porch.

Back of the house

The Magnificent Mermaid Manor.

Maya finished another one of her paintings. This one is of the fish god.

Fish God

Colette arrived back from London and went straight into the Belize International Airport restaurant. She ordered Stew Chicken and smothered her rice and beans with Marie Sharps, so much so that the waitress warned her to go easy. Home truly is where the heart is and our hearts are in Belize.

Politics but no Political Correctness

Politics but no Political Correctness

Belize February 2008

Carnival

This week, Belize got a new Prime Minister, Dean Barrow. This is after 10 consecutive years under the PUP Party. Belizeans showed clearly that they wanted change, with a landslide victory for the incoming UDP party.

Outgoing Prime Minister of Belize, Said Musa, on the left and new Prime Minister of Belize, Dean Barrow, on the right

The build up to the election included hard hitting TV advertising, parties, banners, t shirt wearing and flag waving. Pretty much like an election anywhere else. There certainly were no holds barred with 'Musa Abusa' (Musa being the outgoing Prime Minister) as a slogan for the UDP opposition and 'Dean Barrow is Dangerous for Belize' as a slogan for the PUP Government.

Musa Abusa

For Lower Electricty and Telephone

All A We Da One

Fi U, Fi Me, Fi all o We

During the same week as election was Carnaval on San Pedro. We were extremely priveleged to be invited to participate in the old San Pedro tradition of Comparsa. A Comparsa is a dancing and singing group, which travels from home to home, performing and collecting money for charity.

Dancers looking fresh on Day 1

Naughty songs in Spanish - 501

Gringa Mestiza

Comparsa at it's finest

Pretty Mestiza

One sexy Mestiza

Each night, each Comparsa has a different theme. We were in Miss Rosa's Comparsa group. We had to dress up in character and learn a new song each night. The first night we were 'Modern and Sexy Mestizas'. We were all dressed in traditional Mestiza outfits. Some of the members shortened their skirts or added IPODs to the outfit. Our song was all in Spanish. The Mestizo culture is strong and vibrant in San Pedro as the island is actually just an extension of the Yucatan Penninusla, cut off by enterprising Maya folk a thousand or so years ago so that they didn't have to boat all the way around to the end of the penninsula.

The second night is when political correctness went out of the window. Fortunately, Belize has not been scourged with self censorship. I wasn't 100% sure of the song, but I know it had orginally been written by a local musician. The Comparsa had changed the lyrics. Most were in Spanish, except the chorus, which was in creole and went like this:

White man have nothing to do
Black man ony smoke di weed
Chiney man da fu cook di cat
Spanish man baila Carnaval

Ole, Ole

We sang loud and proud dressed up in our various costumes. I was the lazy white man (understandably white men are considered lazy here as they all have workers do everything for them). Several women, some black, some lighter skinned, blacked up when necessary and with fake rasta dreads, were dressed as black man. They all carried huge gigantic, fake joints - sucking and puffing as they danced along. Another lady dressed as a 'chiney'. This is what Chinese people are called in Belize. The 'chiney' lady carried a metal wok and stir fried a cat in it, bravely represented by a stuffed Garfield.

The song caused a great deal of mirth amongst the homes that were visited. We must point out that part of Comparsa is about making a fool of yourself and being ridiculous, so our toughest competition were a group of local men, dressed as women and singing crude songs, dancing and dry humping eachother all the way down the road. Now, let's put this celebration in perspective for you.

The groups dance every night for about 5 hours solid. Each group is led by a truck with some sort of sound system. There are children's Comparsas, which tend to be raising desperately needed funds for their respective schools are held earlier in the evening. When the adults come out, they have a free supply of booze coming from the back of the truck. On our pick up truck there was a man and a keyboard set along with speakers, a big cooler full of ice and booze, a bucket full of rum punch, 5 gallons of water and about 10 children. Fortunately, children here learn how to mix a rum punch very young and they love getting adults drunk. So they were very keen to make sure the rum was always plentiful.

Getting grown-ups drunk

Rum keeps everyone dancing

Comparsa ladies have beautiful hair

What the kids really want to do at Carnival is paint. San Pedro has a unique element to Carnaval, which doesn't exist anywhere else. On the day that Carnaval starts, the Town Board cover the park with sand. Businesses cover their signs with plastic. And the Town Board provide all of the children with bottles of water based paint. The children (and quite a few adults) run around for the next few nights painting eachother. Paint does get everywhere even though the kids are pretty respectful and don't paint those who don't want to participate. It is surreal to see gangs of hundreds of children flocking down the roads, all covered from head to toe in paint.

Da Girlz show how it's done

After three days of dancing, everyone was broken. Colette couldn't walk for two days and still cant ride her bicycle. Maya was in charge of making sure that we could plug into each house, so she faithfully followed the truck carrying a pile of extension cord, dashing in every house to find an electrical outlet. She doesn't hurt quite so bad.

Meanwhile, life goes on for us on the domestic front. Our house is nearly finished. After all of the warnings and bitching we heard from everyone about what a nightmare building a house would be, we've been so lucky. The house is a bit bigger than we anticipated and somewhat overwhelming.

Mermaid Manor grows

Aerial view of our 'hood'

We try to take advantage of our wonderful surroundings every day. Maya is getting to be quite a good nature photographer. All of the nature pictures here were taken either from our garden or a neighbour's garden.

Jesus Lizard

Roseate Spoonbill

Upside Oriole feeding from Hibiscus

Birds like to party too - Wading bird gathering

In the midst of all of this, we went to Belize City to look around. It is a very run down city and there is a lot of crime, so we don't recommend it as an overnight destination except for convenience. Nevertheless, it is the old capital of Belize and has a rich history. We went to see the Museum of Belize and it was really fascinating. It is built in what was originally the old prison and that in itself is a fascinating story. The photo here is of St. John's Cathedral. It is frequently referred to as 'the oldest building in Belize', which we find ironic as Belize is one of the best places in the world to see Maya pyramids. It is though, the oldest Anglican Church in Central America and is also very cute.

St. John's Catherdral, Belize City

Belize continues to enamour us on a daily basis. There is so much to do here and so much that we want to do that we are excited continually. So, to our friends who are living in the rat race, who get up every morning to take the same route to work, to do the same unfulfilling, but well paying job, to come home the same way, get drunk on Friday, recover Saturday, see friends on Sunday and then start all over again on Monday - think about this. Getting up naturally early every morning because the birds are so lively and enthusiastic about the new day, going out to your own garden to pick fresh fruit looking at the dozen different colours of flower growing around you, smell coffee roasting at the coffee maker down the road and drink your coffee knowing it was roasted yesterday, walk down to the beach stopping to chat with neighbours and friends, walking along finding interesting items washed up on shore, watching sea birds hunt, spotting interesting new marine life, then head home to cycle into town, taking your time as you meet so many friends along the way, do some work, head home for lunch, make your way back into work, maybe walking the beach this time, then come home to grill fresh fish and watch the sun set, listen to spanish music and reggae drifting on the breeze, watch the wildlife and think about how wonderful tomorrow is going to be.

Feeling trapped?

Just fly away.